Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
