Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
