whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
