Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
