what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
