Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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