areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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