dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
