wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
