okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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