This is the prime rib incident all over again
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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