I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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