the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
