tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Do vagina's smell?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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