That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
