I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
