At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize