Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
