he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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