hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
