its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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