Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
