I bet he comes in French.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
