Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
