i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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