Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
