im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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