Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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