So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
