I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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