remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
