So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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