Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
