watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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