I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
