Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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