Ambien. No doubt about it.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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