I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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