Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
