He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
