I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
