I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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