mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
