with your own penis?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
