when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
