i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
