You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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