How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
