yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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