Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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