that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
