Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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