im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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