I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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