where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize