there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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