Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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