Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
another moral hangover. fuck.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It's never too late to be topless.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
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