I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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