I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
