Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
