is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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