we're chasing vodka with high fives
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
His nipple licking is glorious
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