I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
