You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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